Hey Diary, let’s talk, you and me. Frankly we both know what’s coming and obviously this is the DMS that we come back to, we try things the normal way, find it totally unbearable and go back to our way. Each time progress is made, each time a new chapter and ultimately things only turn out for the better, we get forgotten then the only burden is a memory, memory fades, fixation replaced, boom. Now granted that last parts the issue, replacement instead of closure. This regression or safety mechanism instilled is probably the same one responsible for the missing year, it’s engrained but not taught, the answer is going to have to be self improvement unreliant or effected by others.
Make lists of desires, ensure their written as will, not try, not maybe, not want, will. Engrain that until sub becomes con, it’s proven this can be done and won’t be stilted so long as it’s tied to a familiar.
Never settle or allow curiosity to override action, try then see, scientific method. Do the makeup you will, see how it pans out, react.
Fixate on the image of what’s to come, no false downplaying or inflating, the results are clear if you stick with them.
Possible nightly/daily support methodologies? Audio, rituals, patterns whatever.
Therapy, honesty, re-evaluate every previous assumption understand and clarify.