I feel so overwhelmed right now. It feels as though every single thing is hitting me at once. I can’t talk about it I can barely draw it I’m extremely agitated and hard to the world. Diary why do people suck so much? Why do they always do the same things? Why do I struggle to truly change who I am in all the ways I promised myself I would? I’m so frustrated I’m so tired I’m so angry I’m so sad. I don’t think I can do this or anything anymore I’m so fucking done with it all. I’m tired of the family, I’m tired of the guilt. I’m tired of not being able to fucking cry. God what is going on with me I’m so high strung I feel so goddamn divided it’s like every week now I’m fucking pushing or pulling OR DEALING WITH OTHER PEOPLES FUCKING SHIT MAKING EXCUSES FOR THEM KEEPING SECRETS FOR THEM IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT. IM TIRED OF FEELING ALONE IM TIRED OF FEELING ANNOYED WHY CANT I FUCKING CHANGE WHY AM I STATIC THIS IS FUCKING HELL AND I AM SO SICK AND OVER IT IM TIRED OF THE FUCKING REVOLVING DOORS IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOANGRY. I WISH I WAS CLEVER ENOUGH TO BE HALF THE PERSON THESE FUCKING PEOPLE THINK I AM. I hate all the promises I make to myself diary. There’s no reward for keeping any of them, no real breakthroughs, just time spent always on goals that never work out. I fail them always, I always fail them, I’m so sick of it. I’m so fucking angry at myself. Always FUCKING simple things up. Always! I ideated again, self harmed again, fucking all the way back to my shitpile. So much progress and the girl with hopes and dreams is just becoming a fucking monster. I don’t deserve anything. Ever. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, but I will and when I do I’ll probably regret saying it all….